I saw coming towards us a Ghost who carried something on his
shoulder. Like all the Ghosts, he was unsubstantial, but they differed from one
another as smokes differ. Some had been whitish; this one was dark and oily. What sat on his shoulder was a little red lizard, and it was twitching its tail
like a whip and whispering things in his ear.
|
"It's
the onlv way," said the Angel, whose burning hands were now very close to
the lizard. "Shall I kill it?" |
As we caught sight of him he
turned his head to the reptile with a snarl of impatience. "Shut up, I
tell you!" he said. It wagged its tail and continued to whisper to him. He
ceased snarling, and presently began to smile. Then he turned and started to
limp westward, away from the mountains. "Off so soon?" said a voice.
The speaker was more or less human in shape but larger than a man, and so
bright that I could hardly look at him. His presence smote on my eyes and on my
body too (for there was heat coming from him as well as light) like the morning
sun at the beginning of a tyrannous summer day. "Yes. I'm off," said
the Ghost. "Thanks for all your hospitality. But it's no good, you see. I
told this little chap," (here he indicated the lizard), "that he'd
have to be quiet if he came -which he insisted on doing. Of course his stuff
won't do here: I realise that. But he won't stop. I shall just have to go
home." "Would you like me to make him quiet?" said the flaming
Spirit-an angel, as I now understood. "Of course I would," said the
Ghost. "Then I will kill him," said the Angel, taking a step forward.
"Oh-ah-look out! You're burning me. Keep away," said the Ghost,
retreating. "Don't you want him killed?" "You didn't say
anything about killing him at first. I hardlv meant to bother you with anything
so drastic as that." "It's the onlv way," said the Angel, whose
burning hands were now very close to the lizard. "Shall I kill it?"
"Well, that's a further question. I'm quite open to consider it, but it's
a new point, isn't it? I mean, for the moment I was only thinking about
silencing it because up here-well, it's so damned embarrassing." "May
I kill it?" "Well, there's time to discuss that later."
"There is no time. May I kill it?" "Please, I never meant to be
such a nuisance. Please-really-don't bother. Look! It's gone to sleep of its
own accord. I'm sure it'll be all right now. Thanks ever so much."
"May I kill it?" "Honestly, I don't think there's the slightest
necessity for that. I'm sure I shall be able to keep it in order now. I think
the gradual process would be far better than killing it." "The
gradual process is of no use at all." "Don't you think so? Well, I'll
think over what you've said very carefully. I honestly will. In fact I'd let
you kill it now, but as a matter of fact I'm not feeling frightfully well
to-day. It would be silly to do it now. I'd need to be in good health for the
operation. Some other day, perhaps." "There is no other day. All days
are present now." "Get back! You're burning me. How can I tell you to
kill it? You'd kill me if you did." "It is not so." "Why,
you're hurting me now." "I never said it wouldn't hurt you. I
said it wouldn't kill you." "Oh, I know. You think I'm a coward. But
it isn't that. Really it isn't. I say! Let me run back by tonight's bus and get
an opinion from my own doctor. I'll come again the first moment I can."
"This moment contains all moments." "Why are you torturing me?
You are jeering at me. How can I let you tear me to pieces? If you wanted to
help me, why didn't you kill the damned thing without asking me-before I knew?
It would be all over by now if you had." "I cannot kill it against
your will. It is impossible. Have I your permission?" The Angel's hands
were almost closed on the Lizard, but not quite. Then the Lizard began
chattering to the Ghost so loud that even I could hear what it was saying.
"Be careful," it said. "He can do what he says. He can kill me. One
fatal word from you and he will! Then you'll be without me for ever and ever.
It's not natural. How could you live? You'd be only a sort of ghost, not a real
man as you are now. He doesn't understand. He's only a cold, bloodless abstract
thing. It may be natural for him, but it isn't for us. Yes, yes. I know there
are no real pleasures now, only dreams. But aren't they better than nothing?
And I'll be so good. I admit I've sometimes gone too far in the past, but I
promise I won't do it again. I'll give you nothing but really nice dreams-all
sweet and fresh and almost innocent. You might say, quite innocent____"
"Have I your permission?" said the Angel to the Ghost. "I know
it will kill me." "It won't. But supposing it did?" "You're
right. It would be better to be dead than to live with this creature."
"Then I may?" "Damn and blast you! Go on can't you? Get it over.
Do what you like," bellowed the Ghost: but ended, whimpering, "God
help me. God help me." Next moment the Ghost gave a scream of
agony such as I never heard on Earth. The Burning One closed his crimson grip
on the reptile: twisted it, while it bit and writhed, and then flung it, broken
backed, on the turf. "Ow! That's done for me," gasped the Ghost,
reeling backwards. For a moment I could make out nothing distinctly. Then I
saw, between me and the nearest bush, unmistakably solid but growing every
moment solider, the upper arm and the shoulder of a man. Then, brighter still
and stronger, the legs and hands. The neck and golden head materialized while I
watched, and if my attention had not wavered I should have seen the actual
completing of a man-an immense man, naked, not much smaller than the Angel.
What distracted me was the fact that at the same moment something seemed to be
happening to the Lizard. At first I thought the operation had failed. So far
from dying, the creature was still struggling and even growing bigger as it
struggled. And as it grew it changed. Its hinder parts grew rounder. The tail,
still flickering, became a tail of hair that flickered between huge and glossy
buttocks. Suddenly I started back, rubbing my eyes. What stood before me was
the greatest stallion I have ever seen, silvery white but with mane and tail of
gold. It was smooth and shining, rippled with swells of flesh and muscle, whinneying
and stamping with its hoofs. At each stamp the land shook and the trees dindled
. The new-made man turned and clapped the new horse's neck. It nosed his bright
body. Horse and master breathed each into the other's nostrils. The man turned
from it, flung himself at the feet of the Burning One, and embraced them. When
he rose I thought his face shone with tears, but it may have been only the
liquid love and brightness (one cannot distinguish them in that country) which
flowed from him. I had not long to think about it. In joyous haste the young
man leaped upon the horse's back. Turning in his seat he waved a farewell, then
nudged the stallion with his heels. They were off before I well knew what was
happening. There was riding if you like! I came out as quickly as I could from
among the bushes to follow them with my eyes; but already they were only like a
shooting star far off on the green plain, and soon among the foothills of the
mountains. Then, still like a star, I saw them winding up, scaling what seemed
impossible steeps, and quicker every moment, till near the dim brow of the
landscape, so high that I must strain my neck to see them, they vanished,
bright themselves, into the rose-brightness of that everlasting morning. While I
still watched, I noticed that the whole plain and forest were shaking with a
sound which in our world would be too large to hear, but there I could take it
with joy. I knew it was not the Solid People who were singing. It was the voice
of that earth, those woods and those waters. A strange archaic, inorganic
noise, that came from all directions at once. The Nature or Arch-nature of that
land rejoiced to have been once more ridden, and therefore consummated, in the
person of the horse. It sang, "The Master says to our master, Come up.
Share my rest and splendour till all natures that were your enemies become
slaves to dance before you and backs for you to ride, and firmness for your
feet to rest on. "From beyond all place and time, out of the very
Place, authority will be given you: the strengths that once opposed your will
shall be obedient fire in your blood and heavenly thunder in your voice.
"Overcome us that, so overcome, we may be ourselves: we desire the
beginning of your reign as we desire dawn and dew, wetness at the birth of
light. "Master, your Master has appointed you for ever: to be our King of
Justice and our high Priest." "Do ye understand all this, my
Son?" said the Teacher. "I don't know about all, Sir," said I.
"Am I right in thinking the Lizard really turned into the Horse?"
"Aye. But it was killed first.Ye'll not forget that part of the
story?" "I'll try not to, Sir. But does it mean that
everything-everything-that is in us can go on to the Mountains?" "Nothing,
not even the best and noblest, can go on as it now is. Nothing, not even what
is lowest and most bestial, will not be raised again if it submits to death. It
is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. Flesh and blood cannot
come to the Mountains. Not because they are too rank, but because they are too
weak. What is a Lizard compared with a stallion? Lust is a poor, weak,
whimpering whispering thing compared with that richness and energy of desire
which will arise when lust has been killed."
https://www.amazon.com/Great-Divorce-C-S-Lewis/dp/0060652950
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